And Then: Archive

5 tags

Dec 30th

5 notes

4 tags

Dec 29th

Dec 21st

The Dialogue I Will Have The Next Time I Hire A...

Me: Hi. So you can do [task X]
Contractor: Yes.
Me: You have no doubts.
Contractor: Of course not.
Me: And just to be clear, you are qualified and licensed to do all of the work.
Contractor: Yes.
Me: And you have an appropriate time window.
Contractor: Yes.
Me: And you speak the same language, fluently, as those in your employ and anyone you have to work with the make this happen.
Contractor: I do.
Me: Well, that sounds ideal. Couple more things...
Contractor: Okay...
Me: Do you do insane shit for no reason at all and then look totally bewildered when asked to explain it?
Contractor: Um...
Me: Are you subject to fits of destructive randomness during which you destroy the calm and peace of mind of those around you with self-immolatory behaviour apparently calculated to result in legal action and painful delays?
Contractor: Er...
Me: Just askin'.
Contractor: Basically, yeah.
Me: Then you are in no way hired, ever, you maniacal jackass. Thanks for coming in.